Best 30 Funny Golf Quotes That You Laugh Out Loud

Here is a beautiful collection of 30 Funny Golf Quotes - More inspirational and Funniest Golf Sayings that will bring a smile to your face.

Funny Golf Quotes

1. “They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.” ‒ Raymond Flyod. 
2. “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” ‒ Ben Hogan.
3. “I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” ‒ Gerald Ford.
4. “As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” ‒ Ben Hogan.
5. “But in the end it's still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can't shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you've missed the point.” ‒ Payne Stewart.
6. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” ‒ Dean Martin.
7. “Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.” ‒ Bill Cosby.
8. “I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” ‒ G. K. Chesterton.
9. “Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.” ‒ Jim Murray.
10. “Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.” ‒ P.G. Wodehouse.
11. “The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.” ‒ Ernest Hemingway.
12. “Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.” ‒ Dave Berry
13. “A great deal of unnecessarily bad golf is played in this world.” ‒ Harry Vardon, ‘Progressive Golf’.
14. “Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have.” ‒ Harvey Penick.
15. “The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does.” ‒ Bertrand Russell.
16. “Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?” ‒ Ben Hogan.
17. “If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.” ‒ Sam Snead.
18. “If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.” ‒ Joey Lauren Adams
19. “The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.” ‒ P. G. Wodehouse.
20. “There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.” ‒ Lee Trevino.
21. “I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.” ‒ Stephen Leacock
22. “The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief - call it what you will - than any book ever written; it has emptied more churches than all the counter attractions of cinema, motor bicycle and golf course.” ‒ A. A. Milne
23. “Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” ‒ Jack Benny.
24. “A major golf tournament is 40,000 sadists watching 144 masochists.” ‒ Thomas Boswell.
25. ““If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” ‒ Bob Hope.
26. “I am past writing angst songs for kids. My angst is when I can't get my Porsche roof up and when I can't get my golf handicap down.” ‒ Alice Cooper.
27. “I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: it’s called an eraser.” ‒ Arnold Palmer.
28. “The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.” ‒ Mickey Mantle.
29. “You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.” ‒ Lee Trevino.
30. “Golf is like solitaire. When you cheat, you cheat only yourself.” ‒ Tony Lema, ‘Champagne Golf’.

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